There is little sliver of my soul that cringes at the mention of Proverbs 31. It’s a memory I have from message I heard as a teen that was so intimidating, at the time, it left a permanent mark. “Raise your hand if you are willing to commit to be ‘perfect’ (what I heard not necessarily what he said).” I panicked, didn’t raise my hand feeling like there is no way I can do this, then felt guilty over the poor decision. I was confused, now doomed, and just didn’t really ever want to hear about this virtuous woman again.

A whole lot of years and and experience later, I don’t believe I’ll ever forget the experience but I have since learn Proverbs 31 isn’t really the cause of the teenage angst.

It’s funny how easily you can over emphasize some things in your memory and de-emphasize or totally forget others. I remember that Proverbs 31 is all about the “Virtuous Woman” but when I read it again this week, I became more and more curious about the first third of the chapter that wasn’t about a woman at all. The research began.

First let’s start with the author. King Lemuel? Who? There are a few offerings from Biblical experts about who this person is, but the name Lemuel means “belonging to God” and this name is most commonly thought to be a pseudonym for Solomon. Whoever the writer, God used their “pen” to write to all of us His words of wisdom. So let’s take a look at all of the words of wisdom found in the chapter of the week.

I found a good outline of the whole chapter to share with you from a John Phillips Commentary. So I firstly wanted to let you know this is his outline not mine but I’ve added personal comments throughout. Secondly, I would use the term wife with woman synonymously. Even though those are different roles, the message and words of wisdom are the same.

Verses 1-9 The Morals of a king
Whether you’re in line for the throne or just a regular “joe” don’t waste a bunch of time and energy on women in general. This is not saying to be disrespectful of women, or to not pursue someone who could be your sole helpmate. It does however suggest to me, that women are not the best place to devote your time and energy to. If you couple this motherly piece of advice with the knowledge that Solomon the King (with a 1,000 wives), and his mother Bathsheba (with her own experience as the wife of a king), are the people doing the writing, it add even more weight. Bottom line, the best place to spend your time and energy: pursue God. Ecclesiastes 12:13 “Fear God and keep his commandment, for this is the whole duty of man.” If you depend on God to meet your needs and bless you with God-honoring relationships, you’ll be a much better place than if you chase after the women!
Drinking. Need I say anything about this? Pursue God – depend on Him to meet your needs.

Verse 10 The model wife is rare.
I would agree. As a woman who has sought out godly women as role models, these women are rare. Find them. Treasure them. And become one of them!

Verses 11-12 the model wife is restful.
Solomon writes in earlier in chapters 19, 21, 25 about the opposite affect a quarrelsome wife has on the household. I can personally choose to either magnify the peace of God or hide it in my home. It’s not about the circumstances. It’s not about anyone else in the house.

Verses 13-15 the model wife is resourceful.
In today’s culture… a savvy shopper? 😉 Kidding/not kidding. She seeks, investigates, works, produces, acquires, etc. things of value. In other words she is thoughtful and disciplined in using her skills for the good of her family. Over and over I talk to people about how they can use their gifts and abilities to serve. This is how we become fulfilled because we are doing what we are created to do. How God-honoring it is to make the most of what you have in His name and for His sake?! Completely. And how much does my family benefit from all of the effort I put into making resourceful deliberate decisions for God’s good and theirs?

Verses 16-19 the model wife is rich.
Define rich. Rich certainly is profitable. She’s making more money than it costs her to do business. She is also very healthy and able, which means she is rich in health. She has a supply of the things that she needs, like oil, like wool, and tools to do her work, therefore rich in stewardship, in other words she’s a good manager. Finally, I see that she is shopping and that implies that she is doing so intentionally and not just to pass the time, which means she’s rich in knowledge. I think of these kind of people as deep. They have layers of experience and knowledge that makes them interesting and honestly someone I want to hang around. How rich are you?

Verses 19 & 20 the model wife is responsive & ready (prepared).
In other words she has planned ahead and is able to meet needs when they arise. This requires a heart that is willing and the action of discipline to set aside time, and resources for a “rainy day”. It’s very intentional and ministry-minded. She’s not just making sure that there is a meal in the freezer ready in case she can’t get to the store. This means there are several because the neighbor, friend, or co-worker might find themselves in need and she’ll be ready to serve.

Verses 21-25 the model wife is respected.
When we are living “our best life” (this is a phrase that I see quite often today) it reflects on the rest of the family. It reflects on our church. It reflects on our communities. I believe that verses 10-31 could actually be summed up to say living my best life. In our culture the phrase means to seek our own happiness and success. In God’s word, our best life is a reflection of our best relationship with Christ. It’s being grateful for all that He’s given us. Its working to the best of our abilities and gaining knowledge and experience to use for His glory. When our “best life” is Christ’s glory, then we are a wife or a woman who is respected. The experience, knowledge, and dignity oozes effortlessly. Our happiness and success are not the goal, growing as a Christ-follower is, and joy is the by-product.

Verses 26-27 the model wife is right (wise).
This is just makes me laugh out loud. “If momma ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy” comes to mind. In this case however, right means that she uses her words wisely, carefully, judiciously, and with a good intention. Likewise, she uses her time under the same guidelines.

Verse 28 the model wife is rewarded.
I can say from experience now with my children in their 30s, when you invest your life in things that are good and right, and excellent and lovely, honorable and true, and they didn’t appreciate you so much as a mom when they were high school and college students they will eventually appreciate your efforts as they mature. You may have to wait for it. There is little, that is more rewarding that to hear the values that you tried to instill in them be spoken and better yet be demonstrated in their lives. If it isn’t the case in your natural family it definitely is the case in your spiritual family. I can’t stress enough the reward of mentoring! You will not know what I’m talking about until you are mentored and then step forward to mentor someone else.

Verses 29-31 the model wife is renowned.
People are watching. They see when you’re struggling through hardships. They see you when you are celebrating milestones. They see you when you are working day in and day out. Or not. If you’re motivated by this, be motivated to draw attention to God in your life. Point them to Him. Let Him be the renowned. In the process lives are changed! God is honored and you are blessed!!!